Greetings, modern day 'mos. I'm here to be simple, be up front, and be honest about the concepts that we--as the gay community--convey, share, employ and invoke in our daily, dating, domestic and other lives.
First, my writing is my writing. If you see something here that you have a copyright for, let me know and I'll quote you. If I don't name you, it's because I've heard it unquoted, or read it uncited--my apologies. Everything else is mine.
My inspiration stems from many sources. The modern gay man is not an individual--he is a community. Bears, twinks, otters, silver daddies, cubs, pretties, glams, Marys, closet-cases, cowboys, musclebears, wolves, and dozens of other 'types' are described, but they are sects of a community, each with a dynamic, an attitude, and a sense of togetherness--unless you're not one of them.
Don't get me wrong; the bear community I encountered in Portland, Oregon, were exceptionally sweet, accepting and inviting. I was invited to my first 'dinner club' outing my second night in town in 2007. If you're not a bear, though, you may not be so lucky. We as a community are some of the worst offenders with respect to intraspecies bigotry and loathing.
"What is this feeling? Fervent as a flame--does it have a name...yes....YES! Loathing. Unadulterated loathing. For your face, your voice, your clothing...let's just say, 'I loath it all!'" (Lyrics by Stephen Schwartz)
We are creatures who are self-loving, and claim that we are proud of who we are, but yet we demand (sometimes) that everyone else ALSO be proud of who WE are, without respect for who THEY are; we sometimes select for other bears or other twinks, and we loathe those outside of our social circles--we are just as bad as the heterosexual population is to us.
We demand "straight acting only" in our personal ads. What in this universe does 'straight acting' mean? If a guy is looking for a blow job (did I mention I'd be a little loose with language?), and he expects another man to do it, I don't think that qualifies the fellator as 'straight acting', do you? It seems what people want when they say this is 'masculine', but they don't use that term appropriately. Some who are looking for 'masculine' men may actually find the 'uber' masculine types, with leather pleated kilts and harnesses, but they don't seem to find what they want. Masculine is a term that could be misconstrued with ease--seems so simple, but this is the world of the internet. We meet, are introduced to and cruise other men who are seeking men using an interface that keeps us separate from one another both figuratively and literally--they add to the buffers we have between each other, adding to the confusion.
You following this yet?
The title reads, "If you can't stand the sparkle, stay out of the glitter." I mean this sincerely. Maybe if you are intolerant of other gay men, with whichever characteristics they personify, you shouldn't seek them out. Stay online, but get out of my bar, or my restaurant, or my Provincetown.
When we walk down the street and hear one gaygle of men remarking insultingly about another gaygle, we learn how intolerant we are--"those little twinks will avoid us--they're afraid of bears." Amazing. We really are that exclusive?
Men, I do, in fact, love you all--I have pride up the wazoo, and though we all come from different backgrounds, with different coming-out stories, some are traveling light and some have baggage, and we have different interests in who/what/how/where we spend our social times, we need to be different. We need to remember that love isn't about who you find to enjoy, but about who finds you. Being there for someone else is the key--learn from your mistakes, erring on the side of caution means using the parachute when you jump out of the plane, or keeping the speedboat below 88 knots so that the impact makes an exciting, but survivable splash...
I read a tweet today (see? Modern 'mo): "Homophobia is the fear that gay men will treat you the way you treat women." Says a lot, doesn't it?
Thanks for listening.
